But I cannot deny my thirst for knowledge and understanding and, yes, it has its place in the lifestyle, too. Imagining a scenario in which their partner takes full control of the scene and their body is thrilling to a submissive. I am guilty of using a small vernacular and lowering myself to social standards when I am texting or making use of social medias. Supportive — A good Dominant will always be the shoulder for you to lean on and give you the help you need to grow as a person and as a submissive. If neither submissive wants to be in a dominant role, a partner may ask to play with a Dom outside of the relationship. It can be a sensual or visceral experience. If we take that as a base point for comparison, then the broad definition of sexual dominance is a desire for power and control within a sexual context. A good way to avoid arguments, frustrations and becoming upset is by being honest and communicating with your Dominant. However, the gift does lose a bit of its luster when a submissive has no loyalty to their Dominant. Your Dominant needs honest feedback and communication. Anyone can be a submissive, regardless of gender. You have the same responsibilities in return. It creates standards to which new and emerging submissives feel pressured to conform. Getting sufficient sleep. Open — A good submissive is always open to the idea that they are never perfect and are always learning. Submission does not solely exist in a sexual vacuum. I have only added the opinions that were commonly found among the large majority of Dominants. During the scene, I told them that it would really turn me on to watch them squirming as a result of me shocking parts of their body. If you're curious how to be a submissive sexually then keep reading. Good submissives learn to exercise their power in a way that befits their role — they learn that there is a definitive strength in being a submissive. Your behavior might sometimes depend on your sexuality, but your sexuality is never dependant on your behavior. Does she take care in her appearance? Submissives How to Be a Good submissive So you love nothing more than being bent over and spanked senseless on a Sunday afternoon, hm? Another important question to ask is how much you really obey. They — in a sense — possess as much power as their Dominant. And it is important to find someone who wants the same. At least to some degree.
I am not saying the submissive should be weak or passive. One thing you need to remember is that everybody in this world learns differently and at different speeds. How do you feel about that? Again, I cannot speak for all Dominants, but I know I am pleased when my submissive is praised or rewarded or recognized for being smart or kind or respectful or things like that. Do I mean the best clothes or the most fashionable? Good Communicator — Much of what a submissive does is listen and learn from their Dominant. But there is such a thing as a bad Dom. Being polite and respectful makes that job much easier to handle. It is very hard to give a sub what they truly want while ensuring their safety both physically and emotionally. There is nothing wrong with that. Open — A good submissive is always open to the idea that they are never perfect and are always learning. There will be many frustrations.
Is it a double standard? Homework rarely seems sexy but knowledge and information allow you to ease into BDSM without getting over your head. What Makes Someone a Submissive? This is, I believe, part of her service to her Dominant. Also having a kind and considerate submissive always look good representing a Dominant when out in the world. In fact, a submissive will be in capable of service if they do not have confidence in themselves and their submission. I know that many subs shy away from this kind of attention and only want to be a toy; objectified as worthless. Read More … Hopefully not. Finally, if your partner is completely opposed to your kink or expresses disgust when you express your desires, they may not be the right partner for you. Take your time to make sure they are worthy of your submission, before you choose to give them your all. They should also try to obey rules to the best of their ability, but if discipline is necessary they should take it willingly. I would love to know what points you agree and disagree with as well as what I may have missed. I am glad you asked. A schoolroom with an undersized desk and oversized blackboard. Good Communicator — Much of what a submissive does is listen and learn from their Dominant.
Lack of these things is a lack of respectfulness. This will cause a sub to take great pride in the health and presentation of their bodies. A good way to avoid arguments, frustrations and becoming upset is by being honest and communicating with your Dominant. With that said, if your Dominant has proven themselves trustworthy and has only shown to have your best interests at heart, then to have a healthy loving relationship you need to have some form of trust with them. But she essentially does very little wrong in the grand scheme. A strong woman who knows exactly what she wants can still be respectful. When I say a respectful attitude, I do not mean acting like she is submissive to everyone. The more I write, the more I want to write. And so, something I look for in a submissive is someone who will do that and care about doing that. Are you a guy and the idea of a strong women spanking some sense into you turns you on? There is psychological age play. There are many difficulties both mentally and physically and a Dominant can experience many pitfalls along the way. Open lines of communication between Doms and yourself will make sure that all parties involved are able to express their own needs and fulfill the needs of their partners. While for some, BDSM play can be a part of facet of a romantic relationship, for others it can be a infrequent indulgence in fantasy. The violent wand is a fairly safe form of electrical play. In that case, be patient and gauge a time when your partner may be open to experimentation. One cannot exist without the other. Do I mean the best clothes or the most fashionable? Being vulnerable about your needs and interests can cause anxiety for the most vanilla of people, but it is necessary to do in any healthy relationship. The submissive who is neat, clean, respectful, smart and strong reflects well on her Dominant.
Be who you are. A impact play scene could result in emotional catharsis without a sexual climax. The idea of serving may appeal to submissives who see their role of care taking as gratifying. What Makes Someone a Submissive? Maybe your partner is open to experimenting with your kinks but not right away. Open lines of communication between Doms and yourself will make sure that all parties involved are able to express their own needs and fulfill the needs of their partners. I think a true submissive is so in everything she does—whether she wants to admit it or not. Am I being unrealistic, expecting a submissive to be all these things? Actively seeking more information about your Dom can only help you serve Him more. And intense. In addition, if they have any triggers, physical vulnerabilities or complications, or any boundaries that they feel should not be pushed under any circumstances, these should all be made clear early on. One cannot exist without the other. I know that many subs shy away from this kind of attention and only want to be a toy; objectified as worthless. You can also discuss play outside of the relationship like hiring a Dom or going to a dungeon to play as an option. But, for now, I think these are some of the most important characteristics a submissive needs to live by. In fact, I see it as an opportunity to serve him. There are many difficulties both mentally and physically and a Dominant can experience many pitfalls along the way. Wearing a collar, even a discreet one in public, can help keep a sub in the slave mindset. People can be submissive for a myriad of reasons. Along with their Dominant, a good submissive should be taking care of their own mental stability. And so, something I look for in a submissive is someone who will do that and care about doing that. Going on a year with my Dom. However, with the looming deadline approaching, I guess I should get started. There are a ton of resources for a submissive at any stage to help them understand more of their role.
While for some, BDSM play can be a part of facet of a romantic relationship, for others it can be a infrequent indulgence in fantasy. A strong woman determined to be the best submissive she can be is a beautiful thing. Your Dominant needs honest feedback and communication. Partly, that is our relationship. Another topic for another day. It can definitely help to figure out your shit. A submissive or sub is someone who enjoys submission and likes being dominated. Actively seeking more information about your Dom can only help you serve Him more. I am glad you asked. It is very possible to flourish within them and it is necessary to find someone who can take what you give them and turn it into more. You will become upset with yourself, with your training and even with your Dominant. One of the best ways to grow in life is when you are uncomfortable and making mistakes. When he is troubled and needs to talk. It is truly breathtaking to see a submissive open, vulnerable and happy to be in your service. It is not uncommon for a sub to have a mild and quiet personality. Are you a guy and the idea of a strong women spanking some sense into you turns you on? One key factor you must remember is that every time you step out your front door you are representing yourself, your training and your Dominant. This all starts with comes first in the choosing — a good submissive should choose a better Dominant or play partner. But there is such a thing as a bad Dom. Does the idea of being punished turn you on?
What I mean is, a submissive who wants to look good, who is not sloppy in her appearance. It is very hard to give a sub what they truly want while ensuring their safety both physically and emotionally. Many people will probably read this and be offended. Having a submissive who is willing to stick with a Dominant through the tough times and give them the support they need a true blessing. Choosing to enter into service should never be taken lightly, so be picky about who you choose to hand your submission too. Wearing a collar, even a discreet one in public, can help keep a sub in the slave mindset. Still, conversations about the subject are endlessly fascinating. But more than that, I think a smart submissive will learn better and understand more. Being respectful and being meek are not the same thing. For some with high-stress jobs, submission in their personal lives might be the perfect break from the pressure of responsibility in their outside lives. Like an elementary school principal, if an elementary school principal also knew the proper technique for safe testicle torturing. There is a room with mirrors everywhere, adorned with smoking chairs and a Victorian couch. And He should understand how to make you feel cherished. Most submissives — especially those new to this lifestyle — believe that the Dominant is the only one responsible for the well-being of the submissive when they play. Is something too painful? I am a submissive and I am still pretty fresh with this dynamic. The more I write, the more I want to write. Finally, if your partner is completely opposed to your kink or expresses disgust when you express your desires, they may not be the right partner for you. Challenges to being submissive Subs are not perfect; they will mess up from time to time. I may regret having said this: When I say a respectful attitude, I do not mean acting like she is submissive to everyone.
For many kinksters, their submissiveness is more like a sexual orientation than a kink. This list can go on forever, but the point is that while you must trust your Dominant, your Dominant needs to be able to trust you as well. The more I write, the more I want to write. If you cannot learn to trust your Dominant then you should not be in service to them. I am glad you asked. It is best to be up front from the beginning about everything from goals to your favorite ice-cream flavor. A strong woman who knows exactly what she wants can still be respectful. If you cannot find empathy within yourself, you will find a very strained relationship between you and your Dominant, especially during times that should be bonding the both of you together. Partly, that is our relationship. They need to trust that you will try your best to work through any mental or emotions blocks you may have with them and not pull away to suffer in silence. Be vocal and specific while negotiating your desires By definition submissives are allowing another person to take the reigns, but that doesn't mean it should be a one-sided experience.
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